Ray of Summer Sunshine
If it didn't really matter, you wouldn't be spending so much time thinking about it.
Thoughts of S
All day and night, it’s you I’m thinking of. I wonder if you got home safe, if you’ve taken your meals, if everything is okay with you. I wonder what you’re doing right now, at this moment, while I lie on my own bed typing this out. But pride and fear of getting hurt again prevents me from saving your number and texting you. And what would I even say if I were to text you? Oh there’s so many things I want to tell you, but I wish you were interested in the things I say or even listening to me talk for a while. I tell myself that I shouldn’t care about you, but try telling that to my stupid heart that turns a blind eye to all the shit you do. You ignore me for most of the time, don’t you know how much it hurts? But all those times you talk to me, I replay those conversations over and over again, and I never get sick if it. They even bring a stupid smile to my face. I ask myself why do I still have hope. I’m unable to answer my own question. But I have a feeling, a very strong feeling, that you’re meant to be mine. I let you go once before, and you’re back in my life once again. I really don’t know what it is, but every day I pray that you’re the person I can keep for a lifetime, my other half. I love you S.
“…and I’m jealous of every girl who came before me. The girls you knew, the girls you kissed, before you had even heard my name.”
“I’m tired… I’m so tired. I thought I just needed a night’s sleep, but it’s more than that.”
Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)
I want someone to really want me. Make a big deal about me, tell me I’m on your mind way too fucking much but you kinda like it. Make it completely obvious that I’m the person you want. Tell me you can’t wait to see me; show me how you feel so I can feel it too.
Make me feel something I’ve never felt before. Tell your friends about me & I’ll tell them about how you make butterflies swarm my stomach. Want me as much as I want you.
“Yes, my mind was wandering. I wished I were there with someone who could bring peace to my heart someone with whom I could spend a little time without being afraid that i would lose him the next day. With that reassurance, the time would pass more slowly. We could be silent for a while because we’d know we had the rest of our lives together for conversation. I wouldn’t have to worry about serious matters, about difficult decisions and hard words.”
Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept (via kushandwizdom)